What Love is not.....

1. Love is never jealous

    Am I glad when someone is doing well? Do I make it a point to give encouragement whenever I see the smallest act of virtue? Am I jealous or envious of people’s good fortune? To detect envy or jealousy, we need to ask ourselves these questions:

Are we chronic critics?

Are we always sarcastic?

Do we gossip?

Do we talk disparagingly about someone’s accomplishment?

Do we belittle what means a lot to another?

Do we assassinate people’s character?

Instead of rejoicing at someone’s good fortune, envy weeps. Envy or jealousy is a vice nobody likes. It is so unlovable that when a person has it, he tries to conceal it. Envy destroys a person’s peace of mind and causes misery. 

2. Love is not boastful

    Am I a braggart? Am I pompous? Do I keep on bragging at what I have achieved? Do I vault myself in order to bring the other person down? Boasting can be hurtful and unkind since it diminishes others. A braggart does not feel superior to others but he boasts that he is.

3. Love is not conceited

    Am I conceited? Do I have to constantly inflate my ego? Am I puffed up with my own importance? Am I full of pride in myself? Pride is extreme self love. Pride smacks of idolatry, for it idolizes self. A proud person brooks no criticism, true or untrue. Hell has no fury like a proud person scorned.

4. Love is never rude

    Am I always civil? Are my manners in question? Do I often answer back in a disagreeable way? Do I make it a habit to give others a friendly smile whenever I could? If someone rudely asks me for something would I be willing to give? Am I rude to the driver who suddenly cuts into my lane nearly causing an accident? What would be my response to someone who cuts the queue?

A courteous individual realizes the dignity of the human being and he simply treats each person as a person. But a rude individual does not treat a person as a human being, only as a means to his own end. We know that being nice, kind, courteous, polite, good matured, considerate or thoughtful is a cultivated virtue. But rudeness comes from insecurity or weakness, from selfishness or self-centeredness, from lack of training in manners.

5. Love is not selfish

    Do I look out for myself only? Do I consider the other person as well? Am I selfish? Do I always insist on my own rights? Do I only seek my own interests? A self-seeker pursues the adulation, praise and approbation of others.

Signs that tell us whether or not we are self-seeking:

Is God foremost in our thoughts?

Do we try to avoid what is displeasing to God?

Do we accept without complaint all that God sends us?

Do we give free rein to our desires and wants?

Do we let them run wild like an unbridled colt or do we discipline them, tame them and put a check on them?

6. Love is not easily provoked (KJV)

    Do I have a quick temper? Am I irritated too easily? Am I quick to take offence? Do I have a short fuse? Am I always resentful? Can someone provoke me easily? A quick tempered person can be:

 § Testy--flaring up at the least annoyance.
 § Touchy---reacting vehemently when certain subjects are broached.
 § Irrational---just flying into a rage or fury without reason.
   We know that hasty temper, impatient rebukes, sullen looks, harsh words--they all never do any good!
The best remedy for anger is delayed action and silence.
7. Love does not store up grievances

    Do I keep score of wrongs done to me? Do I brood over every injury? Do I store up memory of every wrong that I have received? Do I plan and calculate my revenge? Do I record in my memory every hurt to repay it later? It is foolish to carry hurts like a haversack on our back all through life.

8. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing but finds its joy in the truth
Am I happy over the failures of others? Do I gloat over people’s misfortune?

Do I rejoice over wrongdoing? Do I find pleasure in evil-doing? Do I rejoice in people’s shortcomings or do I find joy in things that are true, noble, just, pure, and lovely and of good report?